today i slept in made a coffee, smoked too much, printed out 30 copies of my resume. then made one phone call and now i have a full time job that starts next week. go me. i will work in an office, so i'm guessing lots of free pens from now on. on the down side last night i spent all my money on beer so i have no money to celebrate my newly found employment. also i have 30 odd useless resumes lying around. maybe i'll start a fire....


[POSTED BY BENTENDO]

Mercury is 22 degrees retrograde in Cancer...five days till direct motion.

I missed the initial testing but think I scored well. I have added the list of questions to add some measure to this 90% Evil status.

You Are 90% Evil

You're the most evil person you know. The devil is even a little scared of you!

Truth told...I don't think these things are evil at all. Would I kill children to pad my corporate profits? No! Would I steal from millions of my own countrymen disrupting the dreams of a entire young generation? No! Would I repress million and millions of human souls over millenium destroying thier natural sexuality for social control? No? But everything that is "good" and "holy"- "god" and "country" seems to behave this way.



Check all that apply to you
You've broken the law
You've looked at nudie pics online
You've secretly wished someone harm
You've kissed someone you shouldn't be kissing
You've said something so mean it made someone cry
You've done illegal drugs
You've killed a bug
You've spit in someone's drink
You've sought revenge on someone
You've made a prank phone call
You've turned people against someone
You've flirted with someone to make someone else jealous
You've told racist / sexist jokes
You've called someone the "c" word
You've made a promise you knew you were going to break
You've done the "walk of shame"
You've corrupted a minor
You've divulged someone's dark secret
You've made fun of a retarded person
You've cheated on a test... or a lover
You don't believe in God
You hate kids
You've gotten in a fist fight
You made someone's life hell in school
You've shoplifted or stolen from someone
You've been so drunk you couldn't remember the night before
You've vandalized someone's car or house
You've made fun of a fat person
You have a fondness for disturbing pictures / anime
You've blamed a fart on someone else
You enjoy setting things on fire
You've been arrested
You've secretly backstabbed a friend
You would choose your life over the lives of 100,000 strangers
You would kill for 1,000,000 if you were guaranteed not to get caught
You've harmed yourself to get attention
You have a nemesis
You believe in an eye for an eye... or even more for an eye
You don't think lying to a stranger is a big deal
You think giving to the homeless is wasting money
You'll pick evil over stupid any day
You aren't bothered by seeing others in pain
You enjoy very violent video games
You are disgusted by weak people
You would keep a wallet full if cash if it came your way
You rather harm an enemy than help a friend
You've shot a gun... and liked it
You'd rather be a supervillian than a superhero


[POSTED BY CHRIS TITAN]

today i quit my job. they said some stuff that pissed me off and then i walked out. it was cool. then i drank some beer and cooked dinner, then i drank some more beer. in fact i'm drinking beer as of this minute. i also watched some tv. then i talked to a long lost friend on the phone. so overall a productive day. the events chronicled are not necessarily in chronological order or correctly spelt, whatever. tomorrow i will get another job, and then i will have something new to complain about. so, sorry friends no more cut rate appliances.


[POSTED BY BENTENDO]

In true one-take Hagakure fashion, I've 'suploaded' a couple of audio bits. They be as follows.

Snatches of a random twenty-minute conversation had between a friend and myself when we both had the flu (approx. six weeks ago). Heavily edited (see if you can pick the gaps) and somewhat less than informative. Three dogs and television present.

and...

Early morning rambling, as of first thing Friday morning in my backyard. Somewhat incoherent. Bit of an extension of the evil thing.

Bed now.


[POSTED BY MALTA]

I just got a got a call. I took the liberty of remembering it.

*RING*
Me: Hello?
Them: ...We Can't Find It!!
Me: What?
Them: ...
*They hang up*

Innocent mistake? I think not. Burn these emmer-effers. 01903716618.

What's that you say? Isn't it wrong and/or illegal to publish someonea phone number without their permission. The answer is yes, but sometimes you need to bite back. This old lady who called me wasted at least 20 seconds of my day.

0190371 appears to come from West Sussex in the UK. A picture can be found here. Looks pretty mouldy to me!

In fact, a google search of the number reveals their name and address but I'm not that crazy.

What am I doing?


[POSTED BY ADAM]

So like, how come we didn't steal Iran's plans for that super cool flying boat they were testing a few months back? It seems that the western world could do with one of those. And hey, it's been a few months now. There should be flying boats everywhere!

Hey, what's that sound?

Oh right, it's an airplane. And my car outside, it's a driving boat! Like a normal boat but instead of sailing, it drives. But it's still a boat. No question about it. It's a boat.


[POSTED BY ADAM]

And I feel like a pig shat in my head.

That is all.


[POSTED BY MISHUKI]

Inspired by Mishuki, I had to record my own thoughts because it's been far too long. Once again, I'm astounded at my accent. To date, I don't know anyone who sounds like me.

I also cut it off near the end where I ended up just complaining and struggling.

Also, I think I've broken the terms of service by linking this audio. But last time I did that, my audio lasted for like 2 weeks. That's not bad. Anyway, enjoy this.

Edit: WHY WON'T EMBED CODES WORK!? I just want to embed my audio! In the same way that I always do! How can you not detect the plugin? Stupid internet.

Ah forget it, listen to it here.


[POSTED BY ADAM]

[Transcribed phone text, 21st July 2006, 01:08:08am]

Hello again 419ers. I tried to create an audio followup to the previous message but it failed. I was taking a piss and the band was really loud. The gist of it was: Bentendo & Bastendo etc sucessfully dragged me to the next bar. Here we are, it's The Old Bar, the very bar Bentendo got us barred from for setting fire to my newspaper. He's gotten in trouble again, this time for molesting the band. He stepped on someone's cigaratte, apparently. Once again there were consequences although he was not actually kicked out this time. I asked him if he thought it was him or the bar that was the problem and he admitted - with admirably brutal honesty - that it was him. That is all for now. I just sent this message to the real, original Ludmila Jones (whose pseudonym I rather rudely hijacked); dog only knows how she will react.




[POSTED BY MISHUKI]

I just went out (bleary eyed, bedressingowned, coffee in hand etc) to check the mailbox - for I am expecting a package - and found this curious handwritten note:




[POSTED BY MISHUKI]

This guy is on the UKs 10 Most Wanted list. Yep... Clearly they didn't think to check Skybase or Tracey Island.

That is all.


[POSTED BY ADAM]

Blogthings is great. It's all in the tagline, "Cool Things to Put In Your Blog."

Some of my favourite cool things so far are 'What Number Are You?', 'What Drug Is Your Personality Like?', 'How Sagittarius Are You?', 'Could You Pass 8th Grade History?' and last but not least 'What Colour Blue Are You?'

However, despite all of these wonderful sounding quizzes, there was one that stood out above all other. It was called What Do People Think Of Your Face.

"At first glance, people see you as down to earth and reliable.

Overall, your true self is passionate and physical.

With friends, you seem dramatic, lively, and quick to react.

In love, you seem energetic - almost manic.

In stressful situation, you seem like you're oblivious to the stress"

Not bad... not bad. There's a couple of things I like about that. My love is almost manic. That's true, my girlfriend doesn't like it when I insist that we have a rest instead of 'alone time'. Also, in stressfull situations, I don't just seem like I'm oblivious, I probably am. No, that's not true, but I can't be dealing with stress so I don't fight inevitability. I doubt that makes sense but like I said, it's 75 degrees. Well, it's 73 now. Whatever. At first glance, I seem reliable!

Because they don't know any better!


[POSTED BY ADAM]

Blogger is being a bitch today. It's as bad as myspace.

Login = error.
Login again = error.
Third login = page can't be found.
Finally logged in = myspace is undergoing routine maintainence.

Which is why I don't have myspace anymore. It's not an especially good idea, it just took off and is now taking over. I was at a do yesterday and someone asked me how I met my friend Kyle. "Was it on myspace?" No, I met him in the real world.

Anyway, this wasn't meant to be about Myspace... It's meant to be about weather. Tell me, remaining Hagakure 419 House Dwellers, are you enjoying your cool cool winter? Because it's 75 degrees and it's no fun at all. Looking at the Hagakure Household on google maps, it all looks very sunny and nice... I like how you park your cars in a funny way.

Anyway... I have a memory problem... and don't remember anything... I've forgotten what this was meant to be about.


[POSTED BY ADAM]

I am the only one here. (Duh-dun)

Everyone else either didn't come in at all today, or has evacuated.

The temptation to paint the walls purple and green in their absence is strong, but, I think I will resist at this stage.

Not feeling incredibly articulate at this stage in the day. Sleep dep is the current theme, induced by a a drunken fun weekend with friends out of town. Couldn't be assed to go into the gory details (not that they're that rivetting). One quote that is worth sharing is: There is an 'I' in "we will fucking kick your ass."

I've got some mildly amusing (well, approximately one and a half) soundless vids to share, but, be warned, they may not eventuate, as I have yet to get permission from the star-studded cast.

God, it's weird when it's quiet here. Usually there's at least one person (aka grumpy but endearing old man) having a conversation with a broker along the lines of...

Oh, it's you Bobby.
I'm great, even more so now that I'm talking to you.
I'm such a good liar.
I could be a broker.

Speaking of conversations (one-sided or otherwise), there will be vocal action happening from this side of the screen soonish, once some minor techinical difficulties have been overcome.*

(49 seconds 'til raid..)

Time's up. Best dash and steal someone's well earned resources in multi-player virtual game land.

Then I can go home after a successful work day of blogging and raiding.

*Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair


[POSTED BY MALTA]

i'm quitting my job. so if anyone wants it its all yours. reasonably bad pay shitty hours and ridiculous politics. doest this sound right for you? forward you resume to someone who cares.

at the moment i'm not hating that many songs. i found this amazing radio station that only seems to play songs i like. (it doesn't play any nickelback). it also seems to play a lot of billy idol which i like and blondie, i like them too, there does seem to be a slightly annoying amount of queen and a small deficit in kiss, but otherwise i seem to have struck radio gold, or solid gold in radio talk. no more pussy cat things, no more veronica's no more bad r'n'b, and lots of acdc and midnight oil.

so i will pick anything off the new RHCP record as my most hated song of the day. in my humble opinion there are only two bands that can do what they like for as long as they want and they are... drumroll for effect... motorhead and the rolling stones, and probably acdc. i think i would be happy if the only records that came out for the rest of the year came from those dudes.


[POSTED BY BENTENDO]

Preamble:


Song:



[POSTED BY MISHUKI]

thats how.


[POSTED BY BENTENDO]

WARNING; This art may be too marketing forward for many...but it has a moment at the end that I have not seen for months since NCI went underground. Titan with a shark tank...and I pet the shark this weekend and saw the lion. I hope to have pictures soon...

Simpleology 102/T.I.T.A.N. movie


[POSTED BY CHRIS TITAN]

This guy kicked me in the balls...

send him a post-card...if you live in Australia

write it in a narrative and post a scan of it..

this will be "Big Medicine" for you..."Big Magick"...

Do it quickly,

Chris Titan



[whois.opensrs.net]
Registrant:
Geoffrey Dodd
15a Beagle Pl Port Kennedy
Rockingham, Western Australia 6172
AU

Domain name: PSYCHOLOGYPOWER.COM

Administrative Contact:
Dodd, Geoffrey ocean@vianet.net.au
15a Beagle Pl Port Kennedy
Rockingham, Western Australia 6172
AU
895246695 Fax: 895246695


[POSTED BY CHRIS TITAN]

Spam-based surrealism ascends to a whole new level. Making absolutely no sense at all? That just isn't enough anymore. What the world needs now is nonsense spam which isn't selling anything.

No link, no references whatsoever (so far as I can ascertain) to penile implants or herbal viagra or brutal family sex. Just pure, unadulterated whacktasticism.

barnabyduffett@gmail.com isn't even an email address of mine, although I have been known to use the alias "Barnaby" on occasion. And 'Balfour' has always been one of my very favourite names.

From: "Serranof" (OAndrade7@interlinkweb.com)
Date: 7 July 2006 11:00:52 PM
To: "Barnabyduffett" (barnabyduffett@gmail.com)
Subject: scarfaceespouse

what typify it's throwaway the caprice but gyrate what brazzaville on snub
but imponderable not wyoming it brushlike it sylvan or wavenumber was fissure or culver it astonish that persistent the balfour but deep it ithaca
on foolhardy in pontificate when dissemble a spearmint it's obstruent and inconclusive it orthodox
it habit may archdiocese or corridor the snagging on pigskin a superstition and off or minaret and eskimo that raffish as goer in irma was frail the tx or protest

I don't understand.


[POSTED BY MISHUKI]

I'm going out tonight,
But I have nothing to wear!
Oh spirit (or sprite),
It's almost too much to bear.

Though I will go out in,
The lacklustre, uninspiring wraps I have uncovered,
I had rather hoped,
That a more interesting outfit would be discovered.

Alas, it is not to be,
I'm going out tonight,
Simply donning me.


[POSTED BY MALTA]

my granny died today.
everyone should buy me a beer.


[POSTED BY BENTENDO]

at the risk of offending our catholic readership....

today i was applying for a job at a catholic university and chatting to my little bro on msn. nerd.
um anyway i was thinking up random lines to be said in a movie that would have to be starring Bruce willis or Samuel L. oh and also involving the catholic church somehow. i didnt think that hard about the second bit.
the first line is thought of was;
"Vow this motherfucker."
and the second one was
"chastity my ass..."
this was in the context of the conversation we were having about the time i got in trouble with security at the vatican. another less interesting story. but i have indeed been to the vatican, and been in trouble.

back to the movie, the only plot line i could think of was bruce willis in Die hard mode, saving the world by crashing a plane into a church and then fighting off gangster monks. then he could feasibly say "vow this motherfucker". the other line is just wishful thinking but if they were ever to make a movie like sister act but for dudes, so i'm tentatively guessing brother act, then someone could say "chastity my ass, bitch". and that would be funny.


[POSTED BY BENTENDO]

I have been reading this Sufi Poet lately, it is very deep.

O bird of the morning, learn love from the moth
Because it burnt, lost its life, and found no voice.
These pretenders are ignorantly in search of Him,
Because he who obtained knowledge has not returned.

Sheikh Muslih-uddin Sa'di Shirazi - The Gulistan of Sa'di





[POSTED BY CHRIS TITAN]

When I was a kid I saw carved rice...it was mind blowing.

I just thought of it after years...

I was thinking of what kind of rice is really really nice...

I think that I have found it!

article

pictures if carved rice gods


[POSTED BY CHRIS TITAN]

July 4th the little orange devil will begin his mischeif...

The fucker is going to nuke me...

I am so screwed.


Rice can help me.


[POSTED BY CHRIS TITAN]

has gone crazy with the anonymous comments.


[POSTED BY MISHUKI]